There are moments like these where I remember what it was like just six months ago, when it didn't matter when I went to bed. Or woke up. Or if I really even showered that day. Let's get real. Most days I had were "no obligation" days. Which are my favorite. The last one of those I had was back in the beginning of October. Since then, I feel like time has completely slipped by.
Back when I only had a couple part time jobs, I would read blogs online, stay up late, sleep in, get grumpy if I had to do more than a few things in a day, and spent more time online looking for jobs, etc. than I ever want to again.
Things are much different now. I actually have an income, my days go by very fast, and I feel out of the loop with my own life. I have so many things I need to get done, people I need to spend time with, and recipes I want to create. I need to manage my time much better.
What I need to do is make a plan. Figure out my life. What I actually want to do.
What is important to me? Relationships, creating...and when was the last time I spent some really good time developing either of those? Quite some time.
Because of this, I have felt empty, unproductive, and unhappy.
My hope is to simply start slowly. Maybe blog a little more when I feel inspired. Paint again, practice with my new calligraphy set, and (my favorite) WRITE again. And REGULARLY. I need to take time for myself. All of us need to do that.
And just like that...I can finally go to bed. The cats gave me the victory I stayed up for.
Thank you. Now, don't make me a nervous wreck like this again.
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